Do You Suffer From...
A manic compulsion to collect everything that could possibly have the
CF-105's image on it?(No one's come up with toilet seats yet, thank God...)
A tendency to name your pets after Avro Canada engineers and test pilots?
(don't laugh, someone who shall remain anonymous named their cats Woody
A burning desire to visit John Diefenbaker's grave with a full bladder?
(Not necessarily yours if you happen to be female. You could get your dog
to do it.)
VCR finger strain from having made five dozen copies of the CBC movie
to share with all of your U.S. and overseas friends?
The maniacal drive to strangle someone at Hobbycraft for getting the
Arrow model's hinges on the wrong side of the wing?
The obsessive need to maintain your own private corner of rec.aviation.military?
Corollary: Do you think there should be an alt.fan.avro.arrow ng?
The fervent belief that getting your hands on an actual piece of the
Poor Damned Beast could bring you luck?
An overpowering need to hit the bar and drown your sorrows every sorry
stinking February 20th, every year of your life?
The undeniable jones to make a holy pilgrimage to (a) Malton and/or
(b) The National Aviation Museum? Corollary: Do you sleep with a handful
of Malton soil under your pillow?
The flaming urge to prostrate yourself before Jim Floyd? ("We're not
worthy, we're not worthy...")
The compulsive instinct to say "Ouch!" every time somebody lights up
Then YOU are one of the unfortunate thousands suffering from the
particularly infectious and virulent CF-105 strain of the family of diseases
and associated disorders known as Terminal Aircraft Obsession Syndrome
(TAOS), although some pathologists argue that the CF-105 strain is so potent
that it deserves its own classification. The World Health Organization
warns that the combination of established interest in military aviation
and exposure to images and media featuring the ill-fated aircraft in question
drastically increases the chances of contracting the disease, although
those of Canadian nationality are at particularly high risk. While the
condition is rarely fatal to its victims in the short run, members of the
Progressive Conservative Party of Canada should use extreme caution in
dealing with them.